


Quantum Creep

by Kilgamayan



Category: Quantum Leap, Touhou Project
Genre: Body Possession (Sorta), Crossover, Gen, Impossible Spell Card Jokes, Things That Probably Shouldn't Exist, Wolf Puns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-18
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-08 00:34:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3189146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kilgamayan/pseuds/Kilgamayan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I believe the Touhou fanbase is better off if one pretends that all self-insert/body possession stories are actually just lost episodes of Quantum Leap. With that in mind, I present my submission of such to you all. Note that this takes place after after DDC but before (or perhaps instead of) ISC.</p>
<p>If you're a Touhou fan unfamiliar with Quantum Leap, I recommend reading up on the series at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_Leap so you have some idea of what's going on here. The information in that article should be sufficient to understand this story.</p>
<p>If you're a Quantum Leap fan unfamiliar with Touhou Project, I am so sorry. (You can read up on Wikipedia as well - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Touhou_Project - but the story is geared more toward Touhou fans.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Quantum Creep

“Oh, boy.”

 

Sam had made many strange leaps throughout the course of this project, but this one was head and shoulders above all the others in sheer weirdness. A horned head and shoulders, even.

 

When Sam had arrived, he found himself in the middle of an unfamiliar field, all alone, with not many real signs of civilization around. Fortunately, he had found a stream almost immediately, to get some idea of what was going on. Unfortunately, what he saw in that stream only made the situation all the more confusing.

 

Staring back at Sam was the face of a young girl, probably mid-teens, surely not old enough to drink. Sam wouldn’t have thought twice about this, except for the girl’s jet-black hair having curious streaks of red and white, and a…curious didn’t begin to describe the small pair of pointy horns. His outfit wasn’t much less bizarre, as he sported a white dress with a red, white, and black arrowhead pattern on the bottom and around the neck, and a pair of strange purple-strapped sandals.

 

Sam stood up and examined his surroundings once more. Beyond the field, there was mostly forest. A couple of mountains were visible within reasonable walking distance, and what appeared to be a small, rustic town was much further off in the opposite direction of one of the mountains. Straining his eyes to pick out anything else, he thought he could see small humanoid shaped floating around in various parts of the forest, near one of the closer mountains. But surely that was impossible? _Then again, I currently have spikes on my head…_

 

With far more questions than answers, Sam did the only thing he knew he could rely on.

 

“Al?”

 

After a couple of seconds, the hologram of Sam’s best friend appeared before him, and near-immediately did a double-take. “Hi Sam. Whoa! Look at you! You’re a real cutie, you know that?”

 

Sam rolled his eyes. “Just tell me who and where I am, Al.”

 

“What? Oh. Right, yeah.” Al pulled out his handheld and fiddled with it for a few moments before giving a low whistle. “Whoa, this one’s a doozy. We don’t have a lot of info back home on this place.”

 

Sam pointed at where he thought his right horn probably was. “I’m pretty sure I was ill on the day we had the meeting about horned people.”

 

“Heh heh, Anyway, you’re all the way in 2013. Guess that’s a good sign for how long you’ll live, eh? This place is called Gensokyo. It’s a small region in Japan that’s somehow sequestered away from the rest of the country through unknown means. And that…”

 

Al waved his hand up and down, gesturing the length of Sam’s body.

 

“That’s…uh…Sayjuh? Sayjuh…Kidgin? Sure, yeah, we’ll go with that until one of the locals gives us something better to work with.”

 

“A little girl with horns and an unpronounceable name, huh. Maybe she’s a Japanese folk monster or something. Do we have any information on her, why I might have leapt here?”

 

Al poked at his handheld some more, frowning. “…Gotta be honest with you, Sam. We really don’t. You know how good we are, but this place…this place is something else.”

 

“Ugh. What do we have on the place, then?”

 

“Beyond what I’ve already told you? Eh…it looks like they have a high priest-type figure, one that’s generally very well regarded and respected. Not quite an official leader of the region, but it seems like they could be, if they really wanted it. Name is…Huckooray. Something like that. They’re based out of a shrine of the same name.”

 

Sam nodded. “I’ll try to get an audience with this person. They sound like the best chance I have for figuring out what’s going on here.”

 

“You really think it’ll be that easy? We have no idea who you are, and they’re probably protected if they’re that important. Plus, you’re a scientist, not an ambassador.”

 

“There might be security, but I’m sure an audience won’t be a problem. You don’t get far in priesthood without being a people person. If they’re really that important, then they’ll surely be empathetic and helpful.”

 

Al shrugged. “If you say so. We don’t know exactly where this shrine is, though, beyond being somewhere in a forested part of a mountain.”

 

Sam considered this for a moment. “Hmm…”

 

He looked up again at the forested area where he first saw the floating shapes. They still looked humanoid. Maybe they were…

 

“Over there,” he said, pointing at the shapes. “Those look like people. Might as well ask them about this high priest. It’s not like I have anything else to go on, anyway.”

 

“It’s worth a shot, I-oh, look, you have some company.”

 

“There you are!”

 

Surprised, Sam turned around to see a pair of women walking toward him, neither seeming particularly pleased. One was a redhead wearing a cape with a huge collar that hid her mouth from view, and the other a long brown-haired woman with very long nails and…were those wolf ears?

 

_Eh, who am I to judge? I have spikes on my head._

 

In processing what was going on in front of him, Sam suddenly realized he had no concept of any sort of customs regarding how Japanese women greeted each other. He decided the best he could do was to acknowledge their existence with a smile and hope they took the lead.

 

“Good day, ladies.”

 

The canine woman seemed to bristle ever-so-slightly at this. It was almost imperceptible. The redhead, on the other hand, angrily jabbed a finger at him in response.

 

“Don’t start with us, Kijin. You know damn well why we’re here.”

 

“Uh…”

 

Sam frowned, masking an inner sigh. _It just can’t ever be easy, can it?_

 

“…Actually, I don’t. I barely even know why I’m here. I’ve been looking for the high priest’s shrine, but searching has been so frustrating, so I wandered out this way to cool my head.”

 

This only seemed to make the redhead even angrier. The canine woman, however, added a look of confusion to her already-apparent irritation.

 

“What the hell are you talking about? Are you just trying to make up something else to make us go away? We’re not stupid!”

 

“No, not at all. I’m sorry, have I offended you?”

 

“What the hell do you think?! After all that’s happened, you really-“

 

The redhead stopped, realizing the canine woman had thrust an arm in front of her.

 

“That’s enough.”

 

“Are you kidding me?! You actually believe her?”

 

“I don’t like cutting you off, Banki, but I think you might be getting ahead of yourself.”

 

“But she’s – gragh! Fine!”

 

Banki kicked at the dirt in front of her, eliciting a small, strange wobbling from her head. The canine woman turned to Sam before he had time to think about it.

 

“You have some explaining to do before she flips out again, Kijin. What’s this about a high priest?”

 

“You know, the one from the shrine that’s in a foresty part of a mountain?”

 

Sam gestured behind him toward the forest with the flying humanoid shapes.

 

“I was thinking about searching out that way next, since I haven’t yet and it fits what I know.”

 

The canine woman looked over Sam’s shoulder for a moment, then looked back at him.

 

“…You mean the Hakurei Shrine?”

 

“Yes! That’s the one. Is it out that way?”

 

“Are you barking _mad_ , Kijin? Of course it’s that way. Everyone knows where it is. What are you trying to pull? Is this really how you respond to hairy situations?”

 

“I’m trying nothing of the sort. I just need some life council, and I know this is my best chance.”

 

The canine woman’s eyes narrowed further. There was a pointed, uncomfortable silence, made worse by Banki looking ready to go back on the offensive at any moment. Sam would have started praying if he knew which deity was in charge of the area. Finally, a slight smirk appeared on the canine woman’s face.

 

“…Okay, Kijin. You’ve reversed my mind.”

 

“Oh, thank y-“

 

“WHAT?!? Have you gone off the deep end, Kagerou?”

 

“Don’t lose your head, Banki. We’ll be taking her there ourselves.”

 

“But she…Ohhhhh…”

 

Banki looked back and forth between Sam and Kagerou, a realization slowly dawning over her eyes. Sam couldn’t make out anything else through the high collar, but he suddenly felt a little uneasy for entirely different reasons.

 

“…Okay, yeah, I’m down with that. You got that, Kijin?”

 

Sam nodded. The circumstances weren’t the best, but at least he was making progress on his only lead.

 

“Thanks. I appreciate any help I can get.”

 

Kagerou gestured for Sam to follow her.

 

“This way, then. And don’t even think about being a pain in the neck.”

 

\---

 

The journey was frightening, to say the least.

 

Sure, there were no active, immediate threats to Sam’s life. But with some sort of large wolf woman in front of him, and an irate woman with most of her face hidden behind him, it was impossible to feel any modicum of safe. Stranger still was when the floating person-shaped figures came into focus – they actually were people. Little girls in simpler outfits…with _wings_. With most of his willpower focused on not panicking, Same used the rest of not gawking.

 

Most distressing were their reactions to him. Many gave frightened squeals and flew away. Others would blow raspberries at him before flying off. A couple even hovered in place, watching him unblinkingly, only moving to twist their neck to follow him along. Sam frowned as his convoy made it deeper into the forest.

 

“Someone should tell them that it’s rude to stare.”

 

A chill ran down his spine in his response. He didn’t need to turn around to realize why, as he could practically feel the holes that Banki’s eyes were boring into the back of his neck in response. The snap from a twig that Kagerou’s foot found was even louder than normal, before silence fell upon the group once again. Sam couldn’t even bring himself to get back in contact with Al, who had disappeared somewhere before the little winged girls were in proper view.

 

Many minutes of painful quiet later, Sam found himself at the bottom of a stone staircase. Looking up, he noticed that a bizarre red structure stood at the top.

 

“Get to steppin’, Kijin.”

 

Sam nodded and followed the wolf woman up the stairs. Up, and up, and up and up and up…

 

_Maybe I should learn to grow wings. Hell, I have horns already, why not wings to go with them?_

 

Glancing around to distract himself from how many stairs there were, Sam noticed that Al had reappeared to his right. Al gave him a sympathetic look and a silent shrug, but nothing else. It suddenly occurred to Sam that, aside from Al, he hadn’t seen a single other man since he had arrived.

 

_Good Lord, I hope **that’s** not what I’m here to fix._

 

Breathing heavily, Sam made it to the top step. A stone path before him led to a small house that looked like something right out of his World History textbook. The symmetry of the various curves of the different parts of the roof was admittedly very pleasing, as were the columns out in front, supporting the overhead of the porch. The zigzagging paper trails added some extra charm, strange as they were. Perhaps they were some sort of windcatcher?

 

Upsetting the aesthetic was a girl sitting on the front steps that looked like she belonged in Salem, Massachusetts more than anywhere in Japan. She caught sight of the group, jumped up, and ran toward them, waving.

 

“Hey-o! Look who it is! How’s my favorite group of troublemakers?”

 

Kagerou rolled her eyes. “I don’t know why you always try to sweep us off our feet. You know we don’t have stars in our eyes for you.”

 

“Aww, c‘mon. Everyone knows Seija here’s my buddy for life!”

 

The little witch put her hand out. Sam smiled and gave her a high-five.

 

“You got that right!”

 

“Hahaha! See? Oh, hey, I like what you did to change your hair! How’d you manage that?”

 

A growl came from behind Sam, followed by the very irritated tone of Banki.

 

“Enough of your games, black-white. We’re not here for you. We have business with the red-white. _All_ of us.”

 

The witch frowned. “Man, you’re no fun at all. Fine, have it your way. C’mon.”

 

Sam’s group followed the witch girl toward the building. Once they got near the door, she called out.

 

“Yo, Reimu! You got some more guests!”

 

An annoyed disembodied grunt floated through the door in response. Black-white flashed a thumbs-up and a grin to Sam, who returned the gesture.

 

Stepping inside, Sam found another young brown-haired woman dressed in red and white, sitting at a small, square coffee table with a blanket attached, a cup of something steamy in front of her. Her expression matched the sound Sam had heard earlier, and it only soured further when she noticed him. Before he was able to dwell on this new person, however, his eyes were drawn to the strangest sight yet.

 

Near this young woman, standing on the table, was yet another…very, _very_ little girl. She couldn’t have been more than three, maybe three-and-a-half inches tall. What looked like a tiny bowl sat upon her purple hair, and a sewing needle hung at her side.

 

“Oh great, it’s you.”

 

The annoyed voice of the red-white prompted the tiny girl to look up. Her mouth opened in shock when she saw Sam.

 

“Seija?!”

 

Sam smiled and waved to the tiny girl, taking a step over to the coffee table.

 

“Hey, kiddo.”

 

The tiny girl sprinted toward Sam, stopping just short of falling off the table.

 

“Seija! What happened? I don’t understand! How did we lose? What went wrong? We were supposed to take down all the big bad people!”

 

The tiny girl looked to be on the verge of tears. Sam put on a sympathetic look.

 

“There, there, don’t be sad. We’ll be okay.”

 

“But-“

 

The tiny girl pointed toward the entrance to the room.

 

“Hey, who’s that guy? Is he a new friend?”

 

Everyone turned to look, and Sam’s stomach sank when he saw Al in the doorway, a look of shock and irritation on his face.

 

“Who’s who, Shinny?”

 

“I don’t see anyone.”

 

“There isn’t the tiniest hint of anyone outside, Miss Sukuna.”

 

“That guy! He’s right there! He’s coming inside!”

 

Coming to his senses, Al flashed a smile and a wave at the tiny girl.

 

“Sorry, little lady. I must’ve taken a wrong turn.”

 

With that, he vanished from the doorway and out of sight. The tiny girl was jumping up and down.

 

“Hey, you! Who are you? Come back here! Seija, quick, let’s get him!”

 

Sam nodded, praying that Al would find a proper place to hide.

 

“Right!”

 

Before Banki or Kagerou could react, Sam scooped up the tiny girl, who handed him her needle.

 

“Here! You’ve got better reach!”

 

Sam turned back around, girl in one hand, needle in the other, and ran out the door. On his way, he could have sworn the red-white was giving him a curious look, but that didn’t matter at the moment.

 

“Get back here, you!”

 

Fortunately, when Sam got back out to the porch, Al was gone. Sam made a show of looking around before shrugging.

 

“Sorry, kiddo, I don’t see him.”

 

The tiny girl flailed in his hand.

 

“Drat! He must have gotten away! You saw him, though, right, Seija?”

 

Sam nodded.

 

“Yep. Forget him, though, and let’s get back inside.”

 

Re-entering the house and setting the tiny girl back on the coffee table, Sam noticed that the red-white was indeed giving him that look. Before either of them could say anything, however, Kagerou cleared her throat.

 

“Ahem. Here she is as promised, Miss Hakurei. I told you only we would have the balls to bring her here to you.”

 

Sam’s heart jumped. This was the high priest he’d been looking for. She responded almost absent-mindedly, keeping her look fixed on Sam.

 

“Uh, right, yeah, of course. Come with me for a moment, Seija.”

 

Sam nodded. “Sure.”

 

The red-white stood up and made her way further into the house. Sam waved at the tiny girl again before making to follow.

 

“Be back in a bit, kiddo.”

 

The tiny girl smiled in return.

 

“Okay! I’ll be here!”

 

Sam followed the Hakurei priest through several rooms until they reached a small dead-end of a room with no furnishings beyond some kind of altar with a state on it. The priest slid the door shut behind them.

 

“Sit.”

 

Sam did so. The priest followed suit. She still didn’t look happy, but Sam noted that the irritation was gone from her face.

 

“So, Seija. You feeling okay?”

 

Sam shrugged.

 

“Better than I was. I’ve been looking for this place, actually. Now that I’ve found it, my day has brightened a bit.

 

The priest nodded. “Yeah, it seems all kinds get drawn here.”

 

“…Beg pardon?”

 

A moment of silence followed, before the priest sighed. “All manner of people and creatures. Including you, whoever you are.”

 

Sam frowned.

 

“I’m afraid I don’t understand, Miss Hakurei.”

 

“Oh, I think you do.” The priest tapped the floor a bit for emphasis. “Call it intuition, but something’s been strange ever since you got here. You actually let those two weaklings bring you here. You’ve been far too polite. There was that thing just now, whatever Shinmyoumaru noticed. I couldn’t see it myself, but I felt something there too.”

 

The priest pointed back in the direction they had come.

 

“And when you ran after it, you took Shinmyoumaru in one hand, and her needle in the other. I’ve never seen you use both of your hands at the same time. I was convinced you didn’t even know how.”

 

Sam could feel himself starting to sweat.

 

“You may _look_ like Seija, but…you’re not actually her, are you? Who are you really?”

 

Sam, sighed, putting his hands to his face.

 

“…I guess there’s no hiding it, then. I understand you’re the high priest of this realm, yes? I must ask that what you hear in this room never leaves it.”

 

“As long as you aren’t a major danger to Gensokyo.”

 

“Nothing of the sort, I promise. I am Dr. Samuel Beckett, and I come from the state of Indiana, located in the United States. I’m a government official, and the reason I’m here now, looking like your Seija, is due to an accident from one of my experiments.”

 

The priest blinked. “…Okay, there’s a bunch of words I’ve never heard of before. What’s an Indiana or a United States?”

 

“The Unites States is a country located across the Pacific Ocean from Japan, which is where I understand I am now.”

 

The priest looked taken aback before letting out a low whistle. “You come from the outside world? Wow. I’ll have to talk to Yukari about this, once it’s all over. So you didn’t mean to come here, huh? Do you know how or why you’re here?”

 

“In a way. I travel through time from person to person, taking things that went wrong and making them right again. We have almost no information on your Gensokyo, though, so I don’t know who this Seija is or why I’m in her place.”

 

The priest closer her eyes and hummed in thought.

 

“I think you may be here because of the recent incident of minor youkai going berserk and inanimate objects coming to life. From what Marisa and I could figure out, it sounds like you were behind all that, even though Shinmyoumaru had the mallet that caused most of the damage. You wanted the weak to take vengeance on the strong, and it almost happened, thanks to her.”

 

“This Shinmyoumaru is the tiny girl out there?”

 

“Yeah. She’s taken a shine to you, though everyone else sees you for the lying, conniving, contrarian jerk that you’re really good at being. Given how impressionable she is, it wouldn’t surprise me if you sweet-talked her into joining your little scheme. Both of you took quite a beating before all was said and done.”

 

Sam nodded.

 

“That’s probably why I’m here, then. I have to go apologize to her.”

 

The priest nodded in return. “That might do it. Before you go, though, I need a small favor.”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Hold still until I say otherwise.”

 

Sam watched as the priest pulled out a brush and a small rectangle of paper. She drew several intricate designs on it, before standing up and making her way behind Sam.

 

“This might sting a little, but since you’re not actually Seija, it might not.”

 

Sam felt the back of the collar of his shirt being pulled back, before the piece of paper was stuck to his back, between his shoulder blades. It gave a tingling sensation, but was not overly unpleasant.

 

“Thanks. That’ll teach her to be a jerk. You can get up now.”

 

Sam got back to his feet. Aside from the tingling, he didn’t feel any different from having a piece of paper stuck to his back.

 

“I think it’s time for me to right this wrong.”

 

The priest nodded once more and led him back to the main living room, where Banki and the witch girl were arguing about something. The conversation stopped when Sam and the priest came into view. Shinmyoumaru perked up.

 

“Seija, you’re back!”

 

Sam nodded and made his way over to sit at the coffee table, where Shinmyoumaru was waiting.

 

“You got a moment, kiddo?”

 

“Of course!”

 

Sam took a deep breath.

 

“Listen. I’m really sorry things turned out the way they did for us. That was…that was my fault. I screwed up, and I got us both hurt.”

 

“Huh? What did you do?”

 

“I started the fight in the first place. The strong and the weak shouldn’t be fighting each other. They should be helping one another, to make the world a better place together for everyone.”

 

Shinmyoumaru’s eyes sparkled. “…Wow! You’re so cool, Seija!”

 

Sam smiled. “No more than my friends are. But that’s what happened, yeah. I’m really sorry you got hurt because of me.”

 

The tiny girl leapt onto Sam and gave his collar a hug. “It’s okay, Seija! We’ll always be friends!”

 

Sam returned the gesture as gently as he could. “You got that right.”

 

Shinmyoumaru giggled quietly before Kagerou cleared her throat again.

 

“That’s a wonderful reversal of attitude and all, but Banki and I, we still have business to attend to. Miss Hakurei, we’ve held our end. I trust you will be sealing the deal now?”

 

“Right, of course. Just let me get-“

 

There was a flash, and the scene vanished from before Sam’s eyes.

 

_Figures I would leave just as that finally got good. Ah well._

 

Sam reemerged to find himself at a table, suddenly aware of a weight at his right side. A long brown-haired woman in a red jacket was talking to him from across the table.

 

“Okay, Pam, you’ve had your fun and done your investigating. What do we need to do to take Freudia down?”

 

Sam looked around to find several more sets of eyes focused on him. Another girl with icy eyes and very long blonde hair was sitting next to the speaker. On either side of him were two black-haired girls with long side ponytails in outfits that reminded him of nuns. Checking the weight at his side, Sam caught a glint of a very silver sword. He looked back up at the brown-haired woman, who was staring at him expectantly. Sam suddenly noticed the giant hammer standing up behind her.

 

“Well?”

 

_Oh boy._

 

\---

 

Seija Kijin was having a very bad day.

 

After spending what seemed like days in someone else’s body in front of several dozen strange men in a strange room, she now found herself reduced to playing the role of living vehicle for a princess.

 

“You ready, Shinny?”

 

“Yep! Giddy-up, horsie!”

 

Seija gripped Shinmyoumaru’s small-child-sized legs tightly and began running around the Hakurei Shrine grounds again, utterly embarrassed.

 

“That’s right, horsie! Make sure to give her a good ride!”

 

Seija gritted her teeth in response to the red-white’s mocking calls, figuring it was the only way she could keep herself from biting her tongue clean in half out of anger. It didn’t help knowing that the rokurokubi and loup-garou were sitting there with the red-white, snickering to each other and enjoying every second of her humiliation.

 

“Hahaha! Wheeeeee!”

 

Shinmyoumaru’s laughter, at least, pinged a little in her heart.

 

_Well…maybe having fun with Shinny isn’t so bad. Some day, though, I’m gonna have my vengeance on the red-white, and when I get the chance to rip her limb from limb, I-_

 

A jolt of energy surged from the talisman on her back all throughout her body, causing her to buck in pain and surprise. Shinmyoumaru squealed in innocent excitement at her ride’s sudden jerking to and fro. Seija sighed with a grimace.

 

_Oh boy._


End file.
